Strategies to combat bullying

For definitions of bullying see the Definitions and Jargon Busters page.

If an individual has trouble convincing people at their school that bullying needs to be dealt with, remind their head teacher that "schools have a similar duty to safeguard and promote the welfare of children under the Education Act 2002 (section 175)".

How can you tell if someone is being bullied?

• Their behaviour may have changed suddenly. Perhaps they've become depressed or withdrawn.
• They may start avoiding college or work or sporting venue for no obvious reason.
• They may seem happy at home but miserable at work or college or even at the sports venue.
• They may have bruises, scratches or any other physical injuries that aren't easily explained.

How can you can help someone who’s being bullied?

• Listen to them and let them know you believe them.
• Take their feelings and worries seriously.
• Talk through their options with them.
• Support them in standing up to the bully.

If you see someone else being bullied:

• Don’t just ignore it. How would you feel if it was you, a family member or a friend and nobody helped out?
• Try speaking to the person who you think is being bullied and encourage them to seek help.
• Don’t join in with bullying because you feel you have to. By joining in you’re just being weak and spineless. If you don’t do anything about the bully, there’s no guarantee it won’t be you next.
• If appropriate, speak to your school/college about their anti-bullying policy and think about setting up a student council.

If you’re being bullied right now, what do you do?

If you’re being bullied verbally, physically or indirectly by someone or a group of other people, you need to know how to deal with it.

Don't panic

Don’t panic, keep as calm as you can, and don’t worry right now about the reasons why you think they’re doing it to you. You just need it to stop as soon as possible. It’s important you understand that they do NOT have the right to make you feel miserable. It is not your fault so tell yourself this over and over. Once you stop believing this, they have won. Don’t let them!

You are not alone in this. Sadly most people have been bullied at some point in their lives.

Try talking to them

It might sound unlikely, but people who bully may not always be aware of how they are making you feel, so you could try telling them in a calm but firm manner. If there’s a gang of them, try speaking to the ringleader when he/she is alone. But if that’s impossible or if it doesn't work...

Tell someone

If you’re being bullied, you really need to tell someone: someone you feel you can trust. There is strength in numbers, even if telling someone else about it doesn&squo;t feel like the strong thing to do. You stand a far better chance of getting the problem sorted if you let other people help.

This could be a friend, your parents, a sympathetic teacher or tutor, someone in a year above you, a colleague at work: anyone who isn’t going to make the problem get worse.

• Tell them what has happened, in as much detail as you can, how it is making you feel and why you want it to stop. If the bullying is physical and you’re being hurt, you need to make people aware of this too.
• You need to make them listen and help you stop the bullying. Then, if you can, tell someone else. The more people who know about it, the more support you have. Keep telling them what the bullying is doing to your confidence and your happiness.
• You could mention that you do not want to make a big fuss over it, but do share your worries.
• It’s a good idea to keep a diary and write down the place, date and time the bullying occurs as this is good evidence when the person is confronted. A list of a series of bullying incidents carries more weight than just one incident, so do go into detail in your diary.
• You could also call a helpline like Childline or the NSPCC: they’re there to help and can give real practical support. Their details are in the Further Information section.

Standing Up To Bullying Behaviour

Dealing with bullying behaviour.

Here are some tips you could try to reduce the immediate threat of bullying behaviour. They’re NOT a guarantee to immediately stop it all happening, but remembering them may help next time you're faced with a threatening situation.

• Ignore it: It’s a good step to try and ignore the people bullying you, and the attention they get from making you feel bad because if you deprive them of the attention, there’s little point in them bullying you. Ignoring them can be part of a solution, but it&rsqup;s easier said than done as it's very difficult to ignore if the bullying just goes on and on.
• Walk away: There's no point listening to someone being abusive when you don’t have to. Showing that you’re not just going to stand there and take it shows that you’re no easy target.
• Try to stay in company: You are less likely to be bullied if there are other people around you. But if the people bullying you do manage to corner you away from a group of others, you need to try and deal with the situation as calmly as possible, retaining as much control as possible.
• Act assertive: Assertiveness is not the same as being rude or aggressive. It’s about you believing (and stating) that you have the right to be heard and respected as the person you are.

  If someone challenges that right by behaving in an aggressive and bullying way towards you, you may find that simply showing that you are not the walkover they expect you to be may help. You do not need to instantly BE assertive, but if you can learn a few tricks about how to APPEAR assertive, you’re less of an easy target.

• Don’t panic: If you’re caught in the middle of an intimidating situation with the people bullying you, your main concern is to ensure that you get out of it as safely as possible. Try not to let on that you feel angry or upset about the way they're treating you.
• Stand tall: Even if, deep down you do not feel it, standing upright so that you appear big and confident will actually make you feel bigger and more confident.
• Speak clearly: Being clear, even in simply saying things like "No", "Don’t do that", "Leave me alone" or "Stop". It makes you sound more confident: and therefore you're being more of a threat to the intimidating behaviour. Practice it often, out loud, on your own; you will feel more in control. It does work.

Severe Intimidation and Violence

Dealing with extreme situations

If your case of bullying is very serious and you’re being ganged up on by people who are threatening to hurt or attack you: either now or the next time they see you, it is extremely frightening. If you’re faced with this situation, your main concern is your safety. It’s also important to try hard to make it no worse than it already is for you.

These tips won’t stop the bullying. But if it happens to you, try to remember them.

• Try to keep as calm as you can.
• Shout for help
• Keep your fists clenched if it helps, but don’t use them. Fighting back may escalate the problem and make it worse for you in the future. Staying passive and assertive without hitting back doesn’t mean that you're a walkover, or that you’re weak. But it might mean you don’t get hurt.
• It might sound a bit crazy but try to detach yourself from the situation by talking to yourself in your head. In your mind tell yourself that the immediate situation will not last for ever and that you will keep calm until it is finished.
• Tell yourself that these people do not have the right to do this, and they do not have any right to make you feel like this. Tell yourself that you will get some help to try to stop it happening again.
• Once the situation has calmed down and they have finished intimidating or hurting you, do exactly that.
• Don’t carry with you a weapon or anything threatening: It may be a really tempting idea because you might feel it would give you an upper hand in dealing with the situation. But it actually makes you the aggressor and far easier for the bullying people to get away with their behaviour. If they themselves have a weapon, they’re less likely to use it if you don’t have one. And again you’re far less likely to get hurt.
• Don’t let them win. Tell someone and let them help you; don’t suffer on your own.

Dealing with Persistent Bullying

You do not have to put up with it. A long period of bullying behaviour can take its toll on your health, causing stress, anxiety, panic attacks and a loss of confidence. It can also impact upon your relationships and family life.

Here’s a list of steps to take in your bowls club

• Don’t ignore it. You have the right to be treated equally and as fairly as everybody else
• Try talking to the person calmly and confidently, saying that you find their approach and behaviour to you unacceptable. Standing up directly to the bullying behaviour like this: preferably in front of someone else.
• You should tell someone, especially as most bullying behaviour goes on in secret. You might also be bullied over emails, on the phone or in writing so don’t try and face it on your own; there is strength and often comfort in numbers, and you may find that other people are also going through the same thing.
• Keep a diary and log the times and dates of bullying behaviour: and exactly what that behaviour is. When the person bullying you is tackled, your account of what’s been going on will be important. Bear in mind too that an account of one incidence on its own carries less weight than a more detailed list so make it as in-depth as you can.
• Inform someone. Inform your club SO/WO or a member of the club executive/ management.

If You’re Bullying Someone

If you’re bullying someone, or you’re part of a group or gang who are intimidating people, then you need to realise the very real and damaging effect you could be having on someone else’s life.

Bullying is not a joke. You may think that it's just an extreme name for what you see as some harmless teasing or mucking about, but even name-calling can be very hurtful and you could be causing real, lasting distress.

Ask yourself why you do it and think about your answer.

There are many reasons why people threaten, scare or intimidate others. Some do it to get attention or to make them feel superior over someone else. Making someone else feel small will make them feel big and more important.

Others do it because they see it as a way of fitting in. They may not realise the impact it has on the other people. They may feel jealous of them. Often they pick on the person or people they know who will put up the least resistance.

It’s really important that you realise the impact of your bullying behaviour can have on people. Don’t assume they’ll get over it easily.

People who are bullied may become frightened, feel too intimidated or even to go out at all. This can make them withdrawn, lonely and rejected. Many people who suffer bullying become depressed, some even suicidal.

If you’re intimidating behaviour, name-calling and slagging off becomes violent or emotionally traumatic, the effect on your victim can last years and can cause that person real and in some cases irreparable damage.

Think about what you’re doing

Do you know why you bully people?

• Get to the cause of the problem rather than taking it out on other people.
• Maybe you’re trying to stop it happening to you.
• Maybe you get bullied.
• You might have a reputation as a ringleader and feel you’ll lose face if you change your behaviour.

Talk to a friend, adult, or colleague to get help. Feel good about changing the way you act around people. You can choose the sort of person you want to be.

Training to Prevent Bullying Behaviour

NSPCC: The home learning based correspondence courses also include distance learning programmes on Preventing Bullying Behaviour. Click here for details, or visit the web-site www.educare.co.uk for further details.

Homophobic Bullying, particularly of Children

A particular type of bullying involves the victimisation of a person (which may be child) in relation to sexual orientation. Further guidance (from the Child Protection in Sport Unit (CPSU) can be found by clicking here.

Further Information

In the following table click on an underlined link in the first column to navigate to the organisation’s website. Underliined links in the second column will bring up your email client with the email address pre-entered.

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